Lunatic Mama

Hormones are fun.

Let me rephrase that...

Hormones and no sleep is fun!

I've been a tearful wreck.  I'm not depressed, just exhausted, and these whacky hormones make me cry over everything - the good and the bad.  I know other women know exactly what I am talking about, it just is and its frustrating because you feel stupid about your bout of tears after all is said and done, then you cry that you cried.

I knew baby would change my life and I was (am) ready for it.  I just had no idea.  I think it has felt more overwhelming because the five days I spent in the hospital were not at all filled with rest.  The doctor's and nurses would prescribe sleep, then constantly wake you.  So, it's been an entire month without a solid nights sleep for either Papa J or I, and I don't know if that will improve.

Everyone keeps telling me that now is "survival mode" and things will improve in a couple of weeks.  I am wondering how.  Will I finally get to slumber in the same bed at the same time as Papa J? Will I get to sleep at night like everyone else?  Or will I be forced to constantly sneak in cat naps here and there so I can breast feed the little one every two hours.

Just curious how this pans out...

Don't get me wrong, Hadley is worth every wink of sleep lost.  I just hope that those who are closest to me will be patient while I try to learn to be a normal human being with less sleep.

I'm just tired.