10 Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy

1. You are actually pregnant for ten months, not nine! On that same note, they actually consider you pregnant before you actually conceived.

Papa's take: Wednesday marked 5 months since our first date. Doctor says we are 5 1/2 months pregnant. Do the math!!

2. No soft cheese! I already knew about no raw fish, caffeine or alcohol, but no soft cheese?

3. Bladder leakage. This is a fun thing I have recently learned about after a sneeze in a public place.

Papa's take: Ask Mama about the gym! Just ask!

4. The appetite of a five year old. I figured I'd have some nausea, maybe some up-chuck, but I didn't think I'd become finicky. Up until the last couple of weeks, my diet consisted of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cheese pizza, apples, mint chip ice cream, crackers and Fruity Pebbles.

5. Massive boobs. I figured they'd grow a bit, but from a B to a D! Whoa! And they are supposed to get bigger once the baby comes?

Papa's take: Daddy likes:)

6. Quick gag reflex. It doesn't take much these days to make me gag. Just telling me a somewhat gross story will get me started with the dry heaves (and on a couple of occasions, has sent me running to the bathroom!)

Papa's take: Hmmm...maybe I shouldn't go there!

7. Gas. I can no longer claim that I don't ever fart. Guess what everyone, I do!

Papa's take: It took 5 months but Mama let one slip in my presence...classic!

8. Occasional shortness of breath. Some days I can do 30 minutes on the elliptical machine no problem, others, I can barely climb the one flight of stairs to our apartment.

9. Acid Reflux. Nuf' said.

10. Snoring. I don't think I've ever snored before, but apparently now I'm a chain saw (this weeks sound is that of a choo choo train).

Papa's take: Seriously...it is making me consider ear plugs.

Dear Little One #3

Mama asked me tonight "Do you think we are doing everything right?" She was thinking that the occasional diet pepsi she had was bad for you and she was feeling guilty for it. To ease her mind we read through a baby book and learned that doctors don't worry about caffeine consumption unless you drink more than 3 cups of coffee or its equivalent a day. So no need to worry Mama! Everytime we see you with an utlrasound we are amazed at how healthy you seem to be. You are growing ahead of schedule and your legs are so very long. What an active little thing you are too. The technician who did the 4D ultrasound said you were more active than normal. I wonder if that means you'll be running us ragged. I bet you end up walking faster than the other kids. With all that energy you have you'll end up channeling it and pushing yourself to do things quickly, like crawl, walk and then run. Just remember that sometimes you can get in such a rush to see things, and do things, that you miss out on what is right in front of you. Take time to yourself. Slow things down. Color in your books or pick some flowers for Mom. I will try to show you what the world has to offer but I can only take you so far and show you so much, but your imagination can take you anywhere you'd like. See the clouds, the rainbows and the rabbit running in the fields. Notice the old man feeding the pigeons and watch Sesame Street with your old man. Never worry about being too silly with your Mom and me. We are very silly too. Of course there is a time and place for silliness and we will expect you to behave when we are out and about. You mind your mother when she asks you to do something. Just because you act like a big girl when we are out shopping or visiting with friends doesn't mean that you can't carry that silly girl you can be inside. You will know when to let her out. It'll just feel right. Do me one favor though, try and get mommy's silly little girl to come out more than it does. She has been through a lot could use some more playing and laughing, no matter where she is or who she's around. I am sure between the two of us we can manage to do that. Did I tell you that Mommy is very ticklish? Yes indeed. She is a big fan of feet touching. Do it often!
I love you Hadley

Dad

FAT

One of the lovely things about being pregnant is the constant feeling of fat.  It's an age old complaint, but now I get it.  I've never been tiny, I'm 5'9" and that is just not possible, but I've never seen myself as fat (though, I've probably complained that I felt that way).  But now, I just plain feel fat, hungry and just not cute.  People say I'm "glowing," but I just don't see it.

Moms out there: Any advice on how to feel pretty for the next four months before our beautiful little arrival?

Thanks for your help!

- The Fat Pregnant Bellyacher

Meet Hadley

Dear Little One #2

Okay kiddo. I have a confession to make. I am what you might call...a sports fanatic. The reason you need to know this is because the love of competition and athletics is something I will expose you to from day one. You will be wearing a Red Sox hat quite a bit...maybe for the first time when we take you home from the hospital...if your mom will let me. I am giddy thinking of you with a little Steelers jersey on too. A pink one if you are a girl! Over the years you will sit with me when I watch games and witness the most bizzare behavior. You may see some jumping up and down...some pleading...as I beg for my players to perform at the best of their ability...and some anger as I shout with frustration that my beloved team is losing or performing poorly. Hopefully in time you too will exhibit the same behavior. Now I don't expect you to root for the same teams as me. You can cheer for any team that you'd like....as long as it's the Red Sox and Steelers!!!

As a boy, your daddy and your uncle 'S' were always outside running around, climbing trees, and playing sports. Your grandma started me off when I was still in diapers. She used to soft pitch me the ball and I instinctively could hit. From those early days, before I even knew what sports were, I knew I enjoyed playing them more than anything else. Maybe it was because I was four years younger than my older brother (Uncle 'S') and I could actually play with and hold my own against the big boys and that when I did, your uncle would look at me and brag about his little brother's athletic abilities. Or, maybe it was because I wasn't close to your grandpa at the time and sports and the friends I made when playing filled some void a boy without a father's influence had. Whatever it was, I was hooked and couldn't get enough. My first love was baseball. Loved it. The first time I was put on the pitchers mound when I was five years old I could hear all the dad's commenting on how good I was and since I didn't have my dad around it was nice to hear those types of things to remind me that I was special...something a boy without his dad needs. So I had found the thing that set me apart from other boys. I was a really good pitcher. Later on in life I continued to play. I played all through little league, into highschool, college and then as an adult. I always admired the major leaguers who I wanted to be like and become one day. They were my heroes and despite not ever realizing the dream of playing in the pros, I never stray far from the game either by going to the ballpark, playing in the park or watching on television. Baseball is just a huge part of my life.

Today I met up with some like minded friends to conduct a fantasy baseball draft. This is where you all get together and pretend you are the owner/coach of real players and compete with the other "owner" to see who can build the best team. It is quite involved and makes me somewhat of a geek but I love it and hope you will learn to love it too as there is a father and son who "play" in my league and they seem to enjoy themselves immensely. There we all sat, shouting out our bids for the players we wanted. Back and forth until our rosters were full. Over the course of the season, the real players statistics and we see who put together the best collection of players. Basically we want to prove who knows the most about baseball. The players, the ballparks, the managers. There is a lot of luck involved which adds to the degree of difficulty. So far your dad has proven to be one miserable fantasy baseball player. Hopefully that will change. I think I had a good draft. The whole process makes watching games much more interesting and keeps you busy all summer througout the season.

Now when I was still a young boy I fell in love with a second sport. Basketball. The Boston Celtics were really good back in the 1980s and Larry Bird was one of the best players. I quickly learned the game and excelled...though I wasn't tall and was never quite as good at it as I was in baseball. Still, I played a lot, either on teams or just with my friends in the park. It was the daily hours I put on the court that enabled me to shed the baby fat I had from my early teen years. I will still watch games on television when I can.

Although I was never gifted with a certain type of body that would make me a good football player, and thus never played...my closest friends did and I grew to love the game so that to this day I prefer to watch football more than any other sport. There is just something magical about the exploits of professional athletes and the dreams boys have as a child to do what they do that can't ever be explained. You will see what I mean when you get bigger. I also play fantasy football just like for baseball. The difference is I am quite good at it and have won many times. There is a little more male banter that goes into fantasy football. Perhaps it's due to the nature of the sport. Bigger guys, big hits...more testosterone. We tease each other more and talk a whole lot of smack. It's real fun and I can't wait for it to begin every year. My favorite team the Pittsburgh Steelers won the superbowl a couple years ago but they aren't looking so hot nowadays. So you might see me getting animated and yelling at the TV screen. It's all in good fun. I try not to take it too seriously as it's just a game. I try not to.

I don't want you to ever think you have to play sports or enjoy them to make me happy. I want you to feel passionate about whatever it is that makes you happy. I will show you how to play if you are interested. If not, there are many things I like to do and learned to love that didn't involve sports. It is just one thing among many that we will have the opportunity to do together and I will love you whether you are a shortstop, a writer, a musician or just someone who hides away in their room reading or watching movies.

Your mom and I are quite active and we'd love it if you'd join us. Whether it is going on hikes, riding bikes, rock climbing or working out with weights. When you get older you alone will decide if these are things you'd like to do. Just don't be too surprised when you look back at your baby pictures if you see yourself wearing jerseys and all of us at the ballpark. Because until you have a choice in the matter I am going on the assumption that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and you will love sports as much as your old man doesn.

I love you
Dad

Dear Little One #1

Dear Little One,

Today you are officially a full 20 prenatal weeks old.  We can hardly believe that you will be here in 20 weeks (give or take a few days).  You are approximately 12 ounces (probably a little bigger) and I am starting to feel your kicking presence more and more.  It excites me so much that I find myself waiting for you to knock on my belly.  I can't wait until I feel you frequently and your daddy will be able to feel you also.  Over the next several weeks, you will grow eight (hopefully no more - please don't hurt mom too much) times your size.

Little One, life has handed me some life changing events over the last few months, you being one of them.  New love, deep love, excitement and loss.  I keep thinking the course of events must be a dream, but they are real and, to some degree, I can only explain them as divine.  

This past September 2007, my father, your grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, a type known as T-Cell Lymphoma in very late stages.  The doctors worked hard to make him well and started him on chemotherapy, which he seemed to be responding well.  

After spending a great deal of time with him at his home in Colorado, I came home and officially met your daddy.  We connected and became inseparable immediately, falling deeply in love.  Not too long after, you were created, and while it was not the typical course of action in relationships, we were thrilled to learn of your creation and to start our lives together.  

I shared the news slowly with my family (your daddy was so excited he called him family immediately), rolling out to your grandma (my mom)  and once we knew you were safe and sound in my womb, we told your grandpa (my dad) and uncle (my younger brother).  They are all so excited and a special bond has already been created between you and these three very special people, as well as your grandma(s), grandpa and aunts on your daddy's side.  You are one loved little creature, our hearts are all bursting!

In December, we learned that grandpa's chemotherapy was no longer working and the doctor's needed to try a different medication to fight the disease more aggressively.  This taxed his energy even more, but your uncle and I were able to spend a wonderful Christmas with him at his home.  That Christmas will live forever in our hearts, as shortly after we celebrated the holiday the doctor's told us that there just wasn't anything more that they could do to help grandpa.  He made the decision to enter a hospice program and spend his remaining days at his home.

Little one, I can't tell you how profoundly sad and frightened I was.  I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone, but the fact of the matter is, death is as part of life as birth is and you will probably have to face that feeling at some point in your life.  You will feel like you just can't go on, but I promise that you will.  In fact, you will take many lessons from the experience, just as I have. Do your very best to embrace them and learn from them.

Your uncle and I spent grandpa's final day's with him at his home in Colorado, with the assistance of his very close friends and the help of the local hospice.  He passed away very peacefully, listening to Van Morrisson, surrounded by your uncle and I, and four of his close friends.  If people can orchestrate their deaths, he did it perfectly.  It even started to snow when the funeral home came to pick him up.  Watching him exhale his last breath was not scary, it was an honor to be a witness of.  He was there for my first breath and I was there for his last.  

While it's against a lot of my sensibilities that I have held for much of my life, I like to believe that he is able to walk this earth and observe what is going on.  Perhaps with his dad (my grandpa and your great-grandpa) and his dog Mack.  Before he passed, he asked often about you and, in his way, promised to watch over us.  You have a very special bond with this man that you never met. I wish you could have known him, I could imagine him holding you and singing you the "Love's Ribs" song, as he sang to me when I was born.  I promise to tell you all about him as he was such a special person who I was incredibly close to.  Whether he is able to walk this earth or not, he lives forever in our hearts.

Next week we are going in for a 4D ultrasound in hopes of figuring out if you are a boy or a girl! We are so excited and can't wait to start planning for you.  Baby shower planning is already in the works by several of my very close girlfriends and your daddy and I are starting to plan how the three of us will live in our home.  There is so much to do before your arrival, but we can't wait till you get here, ready or not!

Much love,

Mom

Impatiently Waiting

So my better half has filled you in a bit about what is going on in our little world. Yes we are expecting our first child and we are absolutely thrilled! So to say this story unfolded in an unorthodox way is an understatement. Conception was magic. No...I didn't pull a rabbit out of a hat (how funny would that have been though?). It was just the right time. When two people are connected and their lives have prepared them to recognize that they have finally met the one.

So in the midst of this excitement of feeling like you just conquered the dating game...we discover our 'efforts' have blessed us with a baby. Whoa! Seriously? Ummm...how about getting to know one another a little better. Maybe do some traveling, going out on the town with no inhibitions, or the occasional yoga session or even rock climbing. Well, some of those things will just need to wait for now. Being pregnant won't allow it. But on the flip side, we have grown so much closer because of it. Some would say too close as Mama C is ever expanding and our poor full size bed is shrinking daily. Sadly, I think I may have put on more weight than her so most of the blame lies with me.

Well, we are here now. We are half way there and my patience wanes by the second. I can't wait to meet this kid! We still don't know if it's a girl or boy, but either way it is going to be off the hook! I have some experience with babies, especially girls as I have three little sisters. I love them dearly and can totally see letting our little princess wrap me around her finger. But alas, I think of what it would be like to have a son and it feels totally different. Different species all together. My boy! My little rugrat. Wrestling, teaching him how to throw a curveball, how to fail at math...the thoughts of a son seem to run rampant in my head. I will truly be happy either way. A girl just scares me because my heart may burst with love and I don't know if I can remain the man I am this day if it's a girl. I don't know...it will just floor me....

Stay tuned for more folks. I will post frequently about our trials and tribulations. Our laughter, our tears and everything in between. The next four months will be wild. We'll feel our baby moving, I will be hoping chicken appeals more to Mama C, and our nesting will be bring us ready for this new additon to our family. Can't wait! Good night for now.

20 Weeks and Counting

I've officially hit the five month mark and I still can't believe it.  In 20 more weeks (yah, that crazy lunar calendar thing), I will be a mommy!  We will be parents.  We will be responsible for another life.  A precious life.  A life we created.  I couldn't be more thrilled!

A career driven, self-proclaimed work-aholic, life took me by the shoulders this year and gave me a big shake...  

Not only did I meet the man I am wildly in love with, will soon be calling my husband and we are also expecting our first little one, but my father was diagnosed with a nasty form of cancer and lost his battle in late January.  We are literally dealing with life's extremes - life and death.  Fortunately, my father knew he was going to be a grandpa for the first time and he had a wonderful time bragging about our new family members (Baby and Proud Papa).  In fact, he asked me about the baby often days before his passing.  I feel like this little being that is growing (and now starting to kick) inside of me has a very special bond with her (or his - threw that one in for you Proud Papa) grandpa and I couldn't be more thrilled given the circumstances this little being has already had to go through.

Enough of the sad stuff...

Pregnancy has been an interesting journey for me.  I've always wanted children, often thought I would adopt, but inside knew I wanted to experience the magic that is pregnancy someday. However, it scared me.  And here we are, taking it day by day, symptom by symptom, increasing waist and boobs, while begging my mommy friends to spare me the scary details until I absolutely must know.  Fears aside, I couldn't be more excited or more ready for the adventure that is parenthood (and really, the pregnancy thing hasn't been as frightening as I built it up to be in my head - though, the belly-button popping out thing freaks me out!)!

The first few months were interesting...  well, I should say food became an interesting challenge.  Chicken turned disgusting and activated the gag reflex.  Caffeine cravings were grueling.  No alcohol. No sushi. No soft cheese. Suddenly, I am eating like a three year old - cheese pizza, PB&J, apples, juice, crackers and ice cream.  Oh, and what is the craving for Sour Patch Kids about?

Crazy appetite aside, baby has been doing as well as could be!  The heart beat is strong and easy to find.  The risk for having any genetic diseases couldn't be lower.  And the last ultrasound (almost) two weeks a go gave us some wonderful picture of our little one.  We are told that our "baby is growing good."  However, we were disappointed when the little one wouldn't show us her/his "bits" (as Papa J likes to call it).  Well, he/she wasn't really being modest, the umbilical chord was blocking where the parts are.  Now, we are so excited that we have made an appointment at a fancy 4D ultrasound place who can do a gender identification for us.

This post is the first of many on our "Pregnant Bellyaching" blog.  Expect posts from me, The Pregnant Bellyacher (mom-to-be) as well as Proud Papa (dad-to-be).  He has some interesting counters on how to deal with a hormonal, food finicky pregnant woman.  So please check in on our bellyaching from time to time!  Should be entertaining. 

Bye for now!

- The Pregnant Bellyacher (PB)